


a single drop of a smile

by banditchika



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, they're in love yukina just won't admit it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 16:51:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15490371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banditchika/pseuds/banditchika
Summary: “It’s not what you think,” Lisa says. She’s clutching a pink envelope in her hand. The girl that she’s with, a willowy brunette second-year with a bad case of fidgety hands, watches Yukina with trepidation. They’re the only two students left in the classroom.Alone, alone together but for Yukina standing and staring from the doorway.





	a single drop of a smile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thegadgetfish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegadgetfish/gifts).



> a commission for thegadgetfish!! for a yukilisa stan, it's genuinely kinda funny that i took this long to publish a fic about them. still, i was rlly glad for the opportunity to pick yukina’s brain and how she feels about lisa because... woof there’s a lot going on there. thank you for commissioning me michelle, and i hope you enjoy the fic!!

“It’s not what you think,” Lisa says. She’s clutching a pink envelope in her hand. The girl that she’s with, a willowy brunette second-year with a bad case of fidgety hands, watches Yukina with trepidation.

They’re the only two students left in the classroom. Alone, alone _together_ but for Yukina standing and staring from the doorway.

Something isn’t right. It’s written in Lisa’s wide eyes, the way her lips are parted, her outstretched hand.

“Lisa…?” the brunette asks. She touches Lisa’s shoulder gently, familiarly.

A chill coils down the length of Yukina’s spine and settles heavily in the pit of her stomach. _Ah._

“Yukina, seriously, it’s not—”

“Okay,” Yukina interrupts. She stares a moment longer at Lisa and her friend, spins on her heels, and goes right back the way she came.

“Yukina, wait—!”

Yukina doesn’t turn back. Her feet take her to the courtyard, out the gate, and down the familiar streets to CiRCLE. Whatever Lisa is doing with that girl is irrelevant. Practice can’t and won’t wait.

Lisa had promised her that she would be fully devoted to Roselia the day after Ako joined. The memory of Lisa’s nails, cut down to nubs, flashes in Yukina’s mind; then Lisa, alone in a classroom with some unfamiliar girl and a pink envelope in her hand.

Yukina grits her teeth. If this is Lisa being fully devoted, she has a funny way of showing it.

She arrives at the studio just after Sayo. She lifts her head from her guitar when Yukina shuts the door behind her and spares a glance at the empty spot beside Yukina. She raises one perfect, arched brow in clear question.

There’s no reason why Yukina _has_ to explain.  Sayo has made her priorities perfectly clear, and not a single one of them include fraternizing with the other members of Roselia beyond what is necessary. She cares little for Lisa in particular. Yukina still remembers the way Sayo had raked her eyes over Lisa the first time they met, from the top of her head down to her toes.

Lisa hasn’t missed a practice yet. She shakes off a little more of rust from her years-long hiatus with every practice, but there must still be something about her that Sayo finds wanting. Sayo would respect her silence if Yukina chose not to explain, so long as Lisa still showed up on time. Yukina doesn’t have to say a thing.

The words still leave her mouth as if compelled. “Lisa had something to do.”

Sayo sighs, the sound sharp. Her fingers dance over the frets. “Imai-san will still be present at practice, I hope?”

“She will be,” Yukina says with more certainty than she’s sure she should feel. Lisa has been by her side all her life; it would take something truly extraordinary to pull her away. But then again, Lisa has already left her once. What side of her is Yukina betting on now? Can she be sure that she’ll be _right?_

She frowns. It doesn’t matter in the end. Everything else in her life is secondary to Roselia, to Future World Fes. If Lisa wants to put her _friend_ over the needs of the band and her promise to Yukina, then so be it. Roselia can find a new bassist. It won’t be her perfect band, but—Yukina will deal with that when it happens. If it happens.

(She’s not being petulant. She’s _not._ )

“For now,” she muses, as much to herself as Sayo, “Let’s run through a few phrases of BLACK SHOUT.” She drags a mic stand into the center of the studio and Sayo shifts to face her, hands poised to play. “One, two…”

 

* * *

 

Yukina can’t say she’s surprised. Not really. Lisa is beautiful. Lisa is clever. Lisa is bright and strong and kind, even when Yukina least deserves it.

It’s no surprise that someone would want her. Even at an all-girl’s school. People want Lisa; surely, they must. But it’s only been the two of them for so long. Yukina never expected that Lisa might want someone back. Someone that wasn’t…

Well. It doesn’t matter. Not to Yukina, who has her eyes set on a stage much higher than any juvenile performance the two of them ever gave in the halcyon days of their childhood. For her father. For herself.

Whatever Lisa has with that girl doesn’t bother her.

Really. It doesn’t.

 

* * *

 

Lisa arrives with Ako and Rinko in tow five minutes before practice officially starts. Yukina and Sayo have broken apart to practice on their own; Sayo has been playing the same chord for awhile now, stopping and starting, stopping and starting, stopping and starting. It's frustrating, but Yukina can’t complain when she knows Sayo is trying. The end goal is nothing less than technical perfection, and every screeching stop and accompanying sigh is one step closer to their perfect song.

“You’re late,” Yukina says, looking into Lisa’s eyes. Lisa holds her gaze, but only just, and a tiny part of Yukina knows she’s being cruel when she says, “Do better.”

She says it to the three of them, but it’s Lisa who bows her head in acquiescence. Ako stammers an apology while Rinko glances up at the clock mounted high on the studio wall. Yukina doesn’t have to look to know that it reads 3:56, but Rinko touches Ako’s shoulder and says nothing, content to let Yukina’s tongue lashing wash over her and get to setting up.

Practice goes well enough. Ako’s tempo still tends to be too fast, but Yukina can hear her reining herself in to play properly—at least until she gets too excited again. A little more control and she’ll be right where Roselia needs her. Rinko and Sayo, on the other hand, are perfect. Not that she’ll allow them to slack off, but in terms of pure technical proficiency? Yukina has nothing to worry about.

Now Lisa…

Lisa is average at best. Ako’s inconsistent tempo is likely throwing her off beat; that, combined with the years away from the bass has made the low, rich sound of her playing into something far from what Yukina remembers. The sound of Lisa’s bass thrumming behind her has always made her feel so calm, but right now, she's just incensed.

Everything else has clicked into place but this one thing; this one person. It’s infuriating.

“Enough,” Yukina calls. One by one the other members come to a halt—Lisa first, hands pressing against the strings to silence them, then everyone after. Yukina sighs through her nose. “Something isn’t right. Where is it? That sound, our unity…”

Rinko stares down at her keys. Ako shifts in her seat, and Yukina could swear that her pigtails are wilting. Sayo scowls. Lisa can't meet her eyes, and it’s that more than anything that has Yukina turning her back with gritted teeth.

“Just practice on your own for now,” she sighs. “We’ll reconvene in forty-five minutes—”

“Actually, Yukina, maybe we should take a break for now? It’s been nearly two hours.” Lisa’s voice is soft, and Yukina averts her eyes when she catches the gleam of lip gloss on her smile. “My hands are kinda stiff. Besides! Don’t you think we’d all play better after we get some food in us?”

Yukina glances at the other members. Rinko hasn’t looked up from the keyboard, and even Sayo isn’t as straight-backed as usual. Ako’s shoulders are slumped, and though they’re mostly hidden by her kit, Yukina can see the way she flexes her fingers, easing out the tendons of her wrist and hands.

“Alright,” Yukina says, and tries not to stare at the chipped paint on Lisa’s nails, the length of them cut down to the worn pads of her fingers. “But only for forty-five minutes.”

“Thanks, Yukina~”

 

* * *

 

Lisa has cookies for them. She fishes them out of her school bag and laughs off Ako’s exuberant thanks with her usual easy-going smile. Sayo and Rinko are nowhere near as expressive, but Rinko’s eyes shine as she opens the music note gift bag that Lisa’s wrapped the cookies in, and even Sayo seems more relaxed after a cookie or two.

Yukina quietly accepts her share and tries not to bite into them too quickly. They crumble in her mouth, nutty and sweet and—perfect, just perfect. There’s nothing better than Lisa’s cookies, especially with a cup of coffee (and six cubes of sugar) or piping hot honey tea.

She’s missed this taste. She’s missed…

Lisa catches her eyes and smiles. Yukina glances away, hurriedly stuffing her last cookie in her mouth.

“Yukina?” Lisa’s shadow falls over her. Her presence is familiar but immeasurably heavy. Yukina thinks back to the pink letter. She isn’t sure if she wants to talk right now.

She turns to Lisa anyways. “What is it?”

“I was thinking that we should get something from the café for everyone,” Lisa says. She pushes her thick curls away from her face. Yukina tries not to look too hard, but it’s been so long since she’s seen Lisa like this; since she’s allowed herself to really, actually look at Lisa. Her green eyes are curved with her smile, a hint of sharp white canines poking past her lips. “It’s pretty hot out, and food always tastes better with something to drink, right?”

“It does.” Yukina glances down at the empty bag in her hands and crumples it up, careful not to spill any crumbs on the floor. Ako’s laughter rings through the studio, accompanied by Rinko’s softer giggles. Sayo’s eyes are closed, half of a cookie in her hand. She looks the way Yukina feels every time she gets her hands on some of Lisa’s baked goods. “And you want me to come with you?”

“Well, I’ve only got two hands.” Lisa raises them to demonstrate. There’s a band aid wrapped around her ring finger. First the nails, now this? Just what has she been doing to her hands?

Yukina shakes her head. This can't happen. “Alright.”

“Whoo~!” Lisa cheers. She holds the studio door open and waves energetically at the other members. “We’ll be back!”

“Bye, Lisa-nee, and thank you!”

“Imai-san, thank you…”

“Bring back the receipt, and I’ll sort out what we owe.”

“Will do,” Lisa laughs, and shuts the door behind them.

 

* * *

 

“Alright,” she sighs, sliding into the table in front of the café. “An iced black coffee for Sayo, hot milk for Rinko, strawberry-mango juice for Ako, and…”

She sets a steaming takeaway cup before Yukina. “Honey tea, for you!”

Yukina takes a sip and sighs as the hot, sweet tea soothes her tight throat. She hadn’t even realized it was sore. “Thank you, Lisa.”

The smile she gives her is way too wide; it’s like looking into the sun, and Yukina can’t help but think that Lisa is far too happy with a simple ‘thank you’ than she should be. Her eyes land on Lisa’s empty, bandaged hands. “I thought you said you wanted tea.”

“Ahaha, yeah, but it turns out I didn’t have enough money to buy for everyone.” She scratches her cheek. “Getting my bass checked up took more out of my paycheck than I thought… Next time, I’ll ask for money up front before I take orders.”

So she’s already planned a next time. Yukina can’t say it’s a totally bad idea, though. The sweets and the fresh air have helped to clear her head, and she supposes that even a perfect, uncompromising band has to rest and recover sometimes. It’s a matter of logic, not sentiment.

Having said that; it would be counterproductive if everyone but the bassist got to recover, right?

She slides her cup to Lisa. “If you’re okay with a hot drink, we can share.”

“Yukina…” Her eyes go very round. “You’re so sweet!”

“... Hurry and drink. There’s not much time left in the break.”

Lisa wraps her hands around the cup. Yukina watches her carefully as she raises it to her lips—then pops the cap off and drinks from the rim instead.

“Ahh,” sighs Lisa. She caps the lid and Yukina tries not to think too deeply about the pink stain her lip gloss left on the rim of the cup. “That really hits the spot. Thanks again, Yukina~”

“No problem.” She takes the cup and polishes off the rest of her tea.

Lisa watches her with a smile, but Lisa always tends to smile. What unnerves Yukina is that she can’t seem to read _this one_ , the quirk of her lips as unfamiliar as any stranger’s. “Um… hey, Yukina.”

“What?”

“Um…” Lisa twiddles her fingers with uncharacteristic bashfulness, and something cold and hard settles into the base of Yukina’s stomach. “About that thing you saw earlier with Yuri—ah, Kohsaka Mayuri, I mean—”

“She’s not my classmate.” Yukina trails her fingers along the lip of the cup. “I don’t know her.”

“Right, um,” Lisa continues, clearly thrown off.  She can’t understand why that would be; it wasn’t that long ago that Yukina was even more curt with her. “I can explain what we were doing.”

She doesn’t want to hear this. What Lisa does on her own time is her own business; she doesn’t understand why Lisa compulsively tries to share every little aspect of her life with her. Yukina could care less about the girl whose name is starting to slip from her memory.

Lisa and the bass. Lisa and the band. When it comes to Lisa, that should be all that Yukina cares about.

(She wishes that were all she cared about.)

“Save it.” Yukina stands up and snatches the take-away container with everyone’s drinks from the table, leaving Lisa with her empty hands and excuses. “I don’t care what you do as long as it doesn’t get in the way of the band.”

“Yukina—”

“Let’s go.” She can’t to look at Lisa and the heavy, heavy weight of her eyes on her back. Yukina tosses her cup into the trash and steps back into CiRCLE.

She might have had her share of cookies and tea, but the taste lingering in her mouth is nothing short of bitter.

 

* * *

 

Practice ends well despite the sourness coiling in Yukina’s chest and Lisa’s uncharacteristic quiet. She still tries to fill the gaps with conversation, but her attempts are half-hearted, her mind far away. Her eyes skitter away from when Yukina forces herself to meet her eyes, and her smile is as unreadable as before. Yukina doesn’t like it.

It’s almost a relief when their studio time comes to an end. Ako and Rinko chat as they pack up, tossing around words that take Yukina an embarrassingly long time to recognize as gaming terminology. Sayo leaves with a curt “Thank you,” and a few coins pressed into Lisa’s hand.

Yukina dithers in the studio. Lisa has taken to walking to and from the studio with her, and while Lisa would normally chase after Yukina if she left without her, the argument (could it be called that?) still lingers in her mind like looming storm clouds. Not even Yukina feels comfortable having to walk home with the weight of their… not-quite-fight on their shoulders.

(Leaving Lisa feels even worse.)

She wrings her hands together for another minute before she realizes she’s being foolish. If practice is over, she has no reason to stay. All she’s doing is wasting time, and for what? This isn’t befitting of a perfect band’s vocalist, so she trudges out with one last, backward glance. Lisa catches her eyes.

Yukina looks away and shoulders through the studio door without her.

CiRCLE is just out of sight when Lisa catches up with her, school bag bouncing against her back and her bass’s case slung over her shoulder.

“Phew,” she gasps, mopping at her brow. “Have you gotten a bit more athletic? I really had to run to catch up with you, haha…”

Yukina keeps walking, jaw tight. Lisa’s longer strides put them shoulder to shoulder no matter how quickly Yukina walks. The silence between them is thick enough to choke on. The sound of passing cars is painfully loud without Lisa’s warm voice curling in her ears. She trudges on, making a game of putting one foot perfectly parallel to the other as they walk.

Three centimeters has never seemed like very much; at least, not until Yukina had to endure the walk back home with Lisa’s shadow swallowing her own.

Yukina is about to start counting cracks to fight past the unbearable quiet when a hand lands on her shoulder. She follows it up an arm to Lisa’s face, looking older and sadder than Yukina has seen in—in so long. Yukina is supposed to be the one with dark circles under her eyes and a frown tugging on her lips; not smiling, sun-kissed Lisa.

“Yukina,” she says, and the low burr of her voice scrapes a raw note in Yukina’s chest. “Can we talk, please?”

What can she possibly say to that?

She lets Lisa guide her away from the middle of the sidewalk. They stand in the shade of a dull, weather-stained brick wall, its gray shadow thrown over them like a veil. They’ve long since left the rows and rows of shops surrounding CiRCLE, the mismatched rooftops of residential houses straining up towards the scarlet-stained evening sky.

“So?” Yukina asks, hating herself just that little bit more for how Lisa squeezes her eyes shut, and for the way that she can’t help but stare at the flutter of long, dark lashes against her cheek.

Lisa takes a long, slow breath. “I really have to tell you about Yuri, Yukina.”

“And I already told you, I’m not interested. What you do outside the band is of no concern to me.” Her lip curls into a frown before she can rein herself in. Keeping herself from breaking her aloof mask takes more effort than she would care to admit. “As long as you keep your personal feelings out of the band, you can do whatever you want. If not…”

She knows she’s being cruel. She knows, but even the slick taste of her own guilt isn’t enough to make her look Lisa in the face when she says: “Then just quit now. We have no need of members who aren’t ready to wholly devote themselves to our cause.”

Lisa’s face crumples, and Yukina—Yukina can’t stand to watch anymore. She can pretend to be strong all she wants. No matter how often she claims she won’t compromise for the sake of her dream, or how hard she pushes herself; she’s still a coward, through and through.

“Yukina,” Lisa whispers, voice as tight as a spool of wire. She knows that tone of voice. Lisa’s trying to keep calm.

A sharp, sudden movement draws Yukina’s attention. The hand Lisa forces through her bangs is too rough; it gets caught in her thick mane of hair, and she looks just about ready to tear at it in frustration. Yukina thinks she even sees the beginnings of tears misting her eyes, and—

Oh. Oh, oh, no. No. She’s never made Lisa cry before. She’s ever, not once, _ever_ wanted to make Lisa cry, and Lisa’s trembling fists and shattered composure make all the sore, secret parts of Yukina ache right down to the bone. This isn’t—this wasn’t…

“Lisa.” She fumbles through her bag for a handkerchief. Her fingertips brush against a few crumpled papers that might be old handouts, the glossy cover of the rock magazine she brought to read during lunch, and the plastic wrap from the bread she’d bought in lieu of a bento; but no handkerchief. She doesn’t have anything to hand to Lisa. Why would she? Lisa has always been the one to offer a towel, a handkerchief, a shoulder to cry on when Yukina needed it most.

Yukina has nothing. Helpless, she tugs her sleeves over her hand and dabs at Lisa’s cheeks with them.

“Yukina, I—” Lisa touches the backs of her hands with her fingertips, just for a moment. Her voice is steadier when she pulls away, but the threat of tears still gleams in her eyes. Yukina still can’t find a single word to say. “I know what you thought. When you walked in on me and Yuri, I mean.”

“… Right,” Yukina manages past the knot in her throat.

“But I really wasn’t kidding when I said it wasn’t what it looked like,” Lisa says. She wrings her hands. Her eyes are very wide, nearly black in the fading light. “I mean… I-I’m not…”

She stills. Yukina has known Lisa for as long as she can remember. She recognizes a lie on Lisa’s face when she sees it; but the tight press of her lips and the way she’s holding herself, like her own arms are the only things keeping her from falling apart, are a punch in the gut. Yukina can’t say anything. She can’t think of anything to say, not in the face of this half-truth, half-lie, tangled up into an unruly knot that neither she nor Lisa know how to handle.

(There’s a word for the kind of girl that Lisa is—that Yukina might be, too. How ironic it is that Yukina can spit all manner of cruel things, but can’t bring herself to even think that one, innocuous word.)

 “Yuri and I…” Lisa begins. “Yuri and I are just friends. I was helping her think of what to write in her letter. To the gi—” She catches herself. “To the person she likes. It was just a favor for a friend, I swear. I know how much the Fes’ contest means to you, Yukina. I said I’d take the band seriously and I meant it. I wouldn’t do anything to compromise that.”

Yukina swallows hard. Lisa is still looking at her with something bordering on fear, something that makes her insides twist sickly, slickly with guilt. All the fight has drained out of her; the indignation, the jealously, and the disappointment have settled into base of her stomach, leaving her… tired. So tired, and so ready for this conversation to end. “Okay.”

“Okay? I mean… is that all you have to say?” Despite the height difference, Lisa manages to gaze up at her through her lashes. It makes her look so vulnerable. “That’s all?”

“That’s all.” There’s a beetle crawling near her feet. Out of habit, Yukina nudges it away from Lisa; not that she’s even looking. It seems as though there’s one thing in the world distracting enough to overcome Lisa’s insect phobia, and that’s—

That’s—

Lisa pushes away from the wall, sighing. Yukina stiffens as she slowly runs a hand through her hair, the corners of her ever-smiling lips turned downwards. Maybe it’s the way the setting sun is playing across her face, or the dim lighting and Yukina’s poor eyesight. But Lisa looks so much older than she should be, and about as tired as Yukina feels.

Still, when she speaks again, her voice has regained some of its chipper lilt. “Mmm. Well, okay. If you get it, then that’s all I wanted to say.” She spins around, silhouetted by the setting sun. Yukina squints. “We should probably get going. Your parents would be preeeeetty upset with me if I kept you out too late~”

Cheerful though it is, her voice leaves no room for argument. Yukina always thought she knew Lisa. The shape and sound of her has changed over the years, but the lilting playfulness of her voice, the music of her bass, and the three centimeters of difference between them are as familiar to Yukina as singing.

It seems like every time she opens her mouth, she ends up hurting Lisa. There’s no reason why she shouldn’t be able to hold her tongue now, especially when Lisa seems to want so badly for them to move past this. Still, there’s something just… off about this situation. Like holding a note and feeling the strain of it traveling through her body just before her voice cracks. The conversation might be over, but something about still isn’t right. Something is wrong.

But Yukina has only ever been good at singing songs. Most everything else is beyond her, and right now? So is Lisa. There’s nothing she can do; nothing she can think to do but lower her head and follow Lisa home.

It’s a little too easy to pretend that Lisa’s stream of mindless chatter is just that, and not the accusation of _coward, coward, coward_ that it truly is.

 

* * *

 

They don’t talk about it.

Weeks pass and they just—don’t talk about it. Roselia practices. Roselia plays.

Yukina talks to a scout from a talent agency. Yukina is offered a way to the top by the talent agency. Yukina dithers too long. Yukina messes up.

Oh, she messes _up_ , and just like that, her perfect band falls apart, crushed to pieces by her strangling hands.

What can Yukina do but lick her wounds and _try_ to recover? Sayo is disgusted by her. Ako’s faith in her is shattered, possibly beyond repair, and Yukina doesn’t even want to imagine what Rinko thinks of her.

The only person who tries to take her side is Lisa, but Yukina doesn’t want that. She doesn’t, because Lisa’s faith burns when it’s so badly misplaced. Yukina is so unworthy. Lisa’s tender gaze, her freckled cheeks, her smile when she thinks Yukina isn’t looking; she doesn’t deserve any of it. Not the way she is now. Not when she is undeniably, unquestionably in the wrong.

They don’t talk about it.

Weeks pass. Lisa doesn’t bring it up again, and the incident is thrown on to the pile of other mistakes that Yukina nurses like a dragon over its hoard. She puts her head down and _works_ , and suddenly it’s weeks after Roselia is back together and Yukina has had her fill of sulking about the results.

(She’ll die mad about it, probably.)

Even though they’ve lost, Lisa walks with a spring in her step after the Fes’ contest. She’s practically floating on her feet, moving with a lightness that travels up her spine and shoulders and makes her eyes shine.

Their elbows bump as they walk.

“Whoops! Sorry, Yukina.” Lisa shifts her case higher on her shoulder and pulls away. The loss of her warmth against Yukina’s side has Yukina sighing, though she can’t manage disappointment for long when Lisa stretches grandly, a smile tugging at her wide, laughing mouth. “Mmm~! The weather’s really nice today, isn’t it?”

“It is.” Bright, sunny, but still breezy enough that even Yukina hasn’t broken a sweat. It helps that Lisa is walking along the street, her shadow blocking the worst of the sun’s rays. “… It’s good weather for the beach.”

“Huh? Oh, I guess it is.” She squints up at the sky. Yukina sneaks a glance at the gentle curve of her nose and only tears her gaze away when Lisa turns to smile at Yukina, bright enough to put the sun to shame. “You hate the beach though! What’s up? Got the sudden urge to go swimming~?”

Yukina wrinkles her nose. “No, never. But you like the beach. I thought you would have gone today.”

“Ehh… even if it wasn’t as long today, we still had practice. Besides, I don’t even have a swimsuit!”

“You buy a new swimsuit every summer.”

“Not this time,” Lisa laughs, tugging at the collar of her uniform. Yukina is struck with the sudden and desperate urge to look anywhere but the long column of Lisa’s neck, the soft curve of her jaw. “I think I grew a little too,” she tugs at her skirt and—alright, no, Yukina is definitely looking away now, “so the one I bought last summer might not cut it anymore, you know?”

“I see. Still, you could…” What do people do at the beach besides swim, actually? “You could still go and enjoy yourself.”

“I could, but it wouldn’t be as fun without someone to go with.” Lisa winks and bumps her shoulder against Yukina’s. “So how about it, Yukina~? Wanna come with?"

She chuckles under her breath. "Just kidding—”

“If that’s the issue, I don’t mind going with you.” Yukina touches her fingertips to her lips and stares down at her feet. Lisa in a swimsuit...

She’s not blushing. She just has a really bad sunburn. “… I won’t swim or anything, though.”

Lisa laughs, the sound high and incredulous. “Wait, really!? Y-you’re not pulling a prank on me, right?”

“I wouldn’t do that.” Pranks are a waste of time and energy. She can’t see the appeal at all, and is a little offended that Lisa thinks she ever would. “I wouldn’t ever do that.”

“I mean, I guess I know, but—” Lisa jabs at her with one bandaged finger. Yukina crosses her eyes to stare at it. “You just said you hated the beach, though! You’ve always hated it. So why the sudden change of heart?”

Yukina counts cracks on the sidewalk to avoid answering. Lisa whines and wheedles, but no amount of the puppy-dog eyes she knows Lisa is shooting at her back can wrangle the truth from her.

How can she say it? How can she admit that it took her years to notice the way Lisa hangs off her words? How can she tell Lisa that, for the first time, she's realized _just_ how happy Lisa is to be praised and thanked and appreciated?

The look on Lisa’s face when Yukina thanked her before the Fes’ contest still burns in her mind. Off-handed praise makes her light up for hours, stuttering and stammering and nearly incoherent with joy. Yukina can’t imagine how Lisa would react if she were to swallow her pride and embarrassment to pay her a genuine, honest compliment.

The day that she can do that feels distant; far off into the horizon and hazy. Yukina wishes she could be the kind of person to praise Lisa without feeling as though she were choking it out. She wishes for a lot of things.

But there’s one thing she can do right now without relying on a hope and a prayer, and that’s to make Lisa smile. Just one smile from Lisa sends a ripple through her, diffusing by a minute, an hour, a day; even in her worst moments, one of Lisa’s true and honest smiles seems to make everything a little lighter.

Ah, that’s right, isn’t it? As long as she has Lisa, she…

“I just want to go with you, that’s all,” Yukina says, shaking away her stupor. Paper. Pen and paper. She needs to write it down before that niggling thought slips between her fingers. But she can do that while packing for the beach. There’s still plenty of time left in the day, after all.

Plenty of time to show Lisa, even in her own quiet, stilted way, just how dear she is.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoy my content, please check out my [tumblr](http://banditchika.tumblr.com/) or my [twitter](https://twitter.com/cardteetees) to learn more about my writing!!


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